Gone For So Long

Yes, I have taken a long time off of blogging. I have continued to follow my friends blogs, follow along on facebook and through emails. I can't say that I'm back, because I don't know if I am. We've been going through a lot as a family, nothing I can really share out of respect for my children. We are all physically well so I'll leave it at that. Prayers are always appreciated.

Some news that I can share, is that Anah will be starting school this Sept. She's been home for a year and a half now and has grown physically and appears to have grown emotionally, however academically and verbally not so much. I homeschooled her, like I do Joseph and Jonathan, but she is more than a little resistant to my teaching her anything. To say she is stubborn is NOT an overstatement. It is much more than strong willed, believe me, after five other children I believe I know the difference. I would have happily gone on trying except after seeing her with other children that have DS. She absolutely blossoms! She chatters, laughs, interacts, pretend plays and just all around has a good time. She does NOT do this with any other children, even her siblings, not to the same degree. And it is not just one specific child with DS, it has been any she has met! This is what prompted me to check into the private school near us that is specifically for children with DS. I know I've posted on this before, but I do believe that this is causing me some sadness. I only want to do what is best for her, as I do with each of my children, I guess I'm just sad that I wasn't "the best" in her case.

Jonathan will be getting almost double of all his therapies when we start back in Sept. I'm anxious for that to start up again too. I guess I'll just be glad to be back home and back into some kind of routine. Although we've been at our cottage all summer, it still isn't home and I miss our church family something fierce!

We just finished our 10 days of campmeeting. That was awesome, but I just didn't get the same rejuvenation that I usually do, which is unfortunate. I think it is because I'm feeling distant from God right now. Oh, I know He is always with me, He is faithful, I still pray and converse with Him daily, the distance is my doing. It's not intentional or any "wrong" that I perceive God having done or allowed, it's my lack of "feeling" at the moment. I know love is not a feeling, neither is faith, it is a choice; and I choose to love God and believe in God, it's just my feelings are a little flat right now. I know I will once again burn with a deep passion for my Lord, it's really still there, I just can't seem to get it to the surface. I know, I'm rambling, I'm not sure if anyone will even read this since it's been so long since I've blogged, but it feels better just putting it in writing, admitting it to myself and to others. God has known it all along, it's just my realizing and admitting it that is the first step in my returning to a closer walk with my Lord and Savior.

All right, enough of my ramblings, it's 4:30 am and I have to get some sleep before the kids get up...insomnia stinks.