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Definite funk today. Do you ever get like that? Just a downer type of day. A day where you don't want to do anything? Not happy, not really sad, but just kind of blah. Not sure if it's because I wanted to be with Anah on her birthday, or because I don't have the money I need to live on over there, I haven't received a travel date yet, or because I was sick all week and am having a mild Lupus flare-up, but whatever the reason, I'm in a funk!

I know I have nothing to complain about! I am blessed beyond measure! I have more than I could ever need and certainly more than I deserve, and yet....blah! So, I'm forcing myself to make a nice dinner, eye roast, homemade mashed potatoes, homemade gravy and broccoli. It's one of my favorites and everybody (except Joey of course) loves it.

My darling hubby hooked up the new DVD player today. We put our Baby Signing Times dvd, Jonathan loved it! He was watching the children, dancing to the music and signed "more" along with the children. I think this will work out great for him and for Anah when she gets home. It will help Anah with English and sign language.

I've decided I need a maid. I don't mind cooking, but hate anything else. I used to love to clean, my house always shined like a new penny. Now it looks like a warn out, dirty penny, ugh. I just don't have the energy to do it with my Lupus. Maybe that's half of my funk. I hate how it looks, yet between my pain and fatigue, I can't get past caring for the kids and cooking. I don't mean to complain, although I guess I am, I know I'm blessed to still be alive. The doctors thought I was going to die with my first major flare up, I almost went into multiple organ failure. And I really am thankful, I still have children that the Lord wants me to raise, I know that, yet not being able to do the things I used to frustrates me.

Ok, enough of my pity party. I need to just rest today and tomorrow after church and then I will attempt to get the house in order next week. Lord, give me strength...